the tall blond guy goes to japan

Old woman with blue hair

Nagano City

I'll bet you were all waiting to find out how my date at McDonald's went this morning. Did the lady show up? Did the tall blond guy find souveniers? How is the apple pie at McDonalds here anyway? Well, you can relax folks, I will answer all your questions.

I arrived at the eatery spot on 10:00, but she wasn't there yet. I ordered a Sprite (my soft drink of choice, baby) and an apple pie. I've really been trying to avoid McDonald's since I got here- even though it's where the cool kids hang out, I'd rather be in a little cafe someplace (and there are tonnes of little cafe's everywhere).

In the few seconds after I'd paid and before I got my change, I was attacked from behind by my very odd new friend who tried to shove a Y500 coin at an understandably confused McDonald's employee, apologizing all the while for being about 30 seconds late. Wait- not just an employee, but judging by her name tag, a trainee employee. Well, I bet this isn't handled in the training course. While the lady was yammering on, waving this Y500 piece around, I pointedly took my change from the confused trainee. The blue-haired lady finally got the idea that I'd already paid, so then she started forcing the Y500 onto me. When I continually refused, she then ordered a Sausage McMuffin, said "meet upstairs" and ran out of the restaurant.

Let's review. I ordered and paid for one apple pie and one small Sprite, worth about Y300-400 total. I was attacked from behind by the blue-haired lady. The blue-haired lady tried, but failed to give the counter girl Y500. The blue-haired lady tried, but failed to give me Y500. The blue haired lady told me to meet upstairs. The blue haired lady ordered a Sausage McMuffin, then ran away.

When confronted by events and instructions that make no sense, I tend to pick the one that makes the most sense, deal with it, and ignore the others. In this case, "meet upstairs" made the most sense, so I took my food, thanked the poor trainee (who was obviously glad to see the two weird people leave the counter and become Somebody Else's Problem) and went upstairs to wait and hopefully meet.

Aside: The apples in Japan are delicious. The apple pie at McDonald's in Japan is crap.

I took advantage of this time alone to make notes in my book. One of the notes said "I'll bet she's not from around here. Japanese women do not act like this! It's more like..."

As I was trying to think of where she would be from, being pushy, loud, and very concerned with money, she runs up the stairs and waves at me.

In return for my pins, she gives me a lovely set of Olympic glasses. Very pretty, two gold and two silver. Tastefully-sized Coca-Cola logos on them, along with icons of all the different sports. They're a bit larger than the kind of thing I had in mind, but pretty nonetheless.

And she doesn't want any money for them. Again, she tries to give me the Y500 for the food.

Her Sausage McMuffin shows up, and she tries to give it to me, along with Y500. Thinking quickly, I reply "No, no meat".

Hah! I'm now a vegitarian for the morning. She accepts this (hey, I know it's cheating...) and proceeds to eat it herself, all the while still talking in an animated manner.

She apologizes for the lack of pins, but, as she explains, her kids have already taken them back home to Hong Kong.

Ding!

"So... are you from Hong Kong?"

"Hai!" ("Yes", in Japanese)

AHA! That's it- I should have recognized it earlier. She's very very Cantonese Hong Kong. Wow. Of course!

"I was in Hong Kong, a couple of years ago."

"Ah! You know Cantonese?"

Oh-oh, "A very small bit- 'Sek faan', 'Fiedi laa', 'Jow saan'," I attempt, trying to remember what little Cantonese I know.

This pleases her greatly, and she laughs- whether it's because saying "Eat, hurry up, good morning" is funny, or perhaps she understood something completely different and was laughing at my pathetic attempts at her native tongue. Can't be sure.

So the rest of the conversation, ranging from Asian countries to food to airlines, was carried out in halting Japanese, sketchy Cantonese and small doses of English.

A big ant I saw in the street

Epologue: Later on, in the street, while still on a bit of a high from winning the paying-for-food game (a game played with religious fervour in Hong Kong), I happened to stick my hand in my pocket. Inside, next to the receipt from the tacky souvenier shop I'd just left, was a Y500 coin. Shoot!